Tuesday, June 24, 2008


I've started watching "Bridezillas" on WE.

There. Admitting it is supposed to be the first step to recovery, right?

I first put it on because I figured that it was about brides and I'm going to be a bride so it could serve as a warning system for me. If I found myself doing any of the things that I saw these women doing on the show then I'd know I'd gone too far.

But after watching only 2 episodes I know that I will never go that far. This show is like the Real World, except it's so much worse because these brides are doing horrible things to their families and friends, not to strangers they've just met. One instance that comes to mind is when the woman stabs her husband-to-be in the head with a pair of scissors (it was a glancing blow and he was not injured), and then makes HIM apologize to HER for upsetting her so much that she was forced to attack him. If this wasn't a wedding show it would be a Cops episode where the mustached heroes arrive at their house to arrest the woman for domestic abuse.

In an interview with a bridesmaid (for a different bride) she tells the camera that this bride is a Bridezilla 365 because "she's been a bitch her whole life. Or at least since she was 10 when I met her." Which begs the question, why is she her friend?

It's a surprisingly entertaining show. I like seeing how far these women can push the limits and marvel at how much everyone else lets themselves be treated like shit. It's the sort of show I like to watch because it reminds me of how good my own life is. The only thing I don't like about it (besides it being trash in general) is that the narrator has this chirpy little voice that implies with every upbeat syllable that while she knows what these brides are doing is unreasonable, it's okay because it's their wedding day, and we can cut them a little slack, right?

Wrong. I don't care if a person is at a wedding, is drunk at a party, whatever. It should never be acceptable for someone to treat her friends like servants, her family like a bottomless ATM, and her fiancé-- the man she's supposed to be spending the rest of her "happy" life with-- like a puppy she can kick and yell at when there's no one else around to take her abuse.

But in the end I don't feel too bad for these guys. After all, they had to know what these women were like before the wedding and actually liked that bitchy attitude. If they didn't, they probably wouldn't have gotten engaged in the first place, and if by some chance they didn't beforehand, they definitely wouldn't have gone through with the wedding once they saw the Monster come out of its cage during the wedding planning! It's what I like to call the Mel Gibson situation. Maybe it takes a lot of booze or a wedding to bring to the surface the absolute worst in a person, but that nasty aspect of that person has always been there. And the men who are marrying them are attracted to the Monster just as much as the woman.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

"When I say Rip, you say Ers"

Our softball team has played 6 games so far and while our record is a paltry 2-4, after last night's game I have reason to believe that this team could be a contender in the play-offs.

Our first game was what some people might call a disaster. We didn't know the rules (two different sized balls threw a lot of people off), our team was disorganized, our hitting was a disappointment, and our pitchers had been practicing at a distance probably a good 10 feet closer to the plate than what it turned out to be. We lost against a team that today we probably would beat.

Since then though, we've grown. Our batting has shown significant improvement, and our pitching is very good-- bordering on excellent. Most important to me, in this last game we made much better decisions than we have in the past. We held the ball instead of throwing it away, and when there were overthrows or misses people were there backing each other up. I think we listened to each other better than we have before.

Our batting was surprisingly poor this game considering how good it's been lately. This is mostly due to low pitching that the ump accepted as strikes, but besides that I think it was one of the best games we've played. It ended up going into extra-inning-overtime, where each batter only gets one pitch. If it's a ball they walk, if it's a strike or hit foul they're out. We really stepped it up and got 5 runs out of them and then played some solid D to hold them for the win.

It was suspenseful and exciting and so much fun. We even had fans-- the Boulderite parents showed up in force to cheer us on. I hope that the rest of our games can be as fun as this one.

We have a make-up game this Sunday: Stazio field 6 at 5:00pm against Intela, a team with a record similar to ours. Should be a good game. If you're around I hope I see you there!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lessons from the Affianced

Zazu: Oh, just look at you two. Little seeds of romance blossoming in the savannah. Your parents will be thrilled, what with your being betrothed and all.
Simba: Be-what?
Zazu: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.
Nala: Meaning...?
Zazu: One day, you two are going to be married!
Simba: Yuck.

It's been exactly one month since Ben and I got engaged. (If you didn't already know that well...sorry for not telling you. But better late than never, eh?) We knew each other for somewhere between 1-2 months just as friends. Then we dated for 6 years and one month (and 4 days, but who's really counting?). Now we've been engaged for 31 days, and while most of the time things feel pretty much the same, here are a few lessons I've learned already about the differences between "just dating" and "on the road to marriage."

1. The ring, holy crap, the ring!

I've never been big into jewelry, and when I say that I mean that a) my ears aren't pierced and I never wear anklets or bracelets, b) the only necklace I ever wear is a silver chain given to me by Ben, and c) I grew up playing sports, piano, and doing any number of other things that taught me that wearing jewelry will only hurt me in the end (and keep your fingernails trimmed at all times). But man I love this ring. I never knew that I could like a piece of jewelry as much as I do. Point C is still valid-- I've already made myself bleed at least twice that I can remember from this thing-- but the pain is worth it. The ring is gorgeous and every time I look at it I think about what it represents it only makes me happier.

2. There are a lot of ugly wedding dresses out there

Not only are they ugly, but someone out there must actually think they're pretty, otherwise they wouldn't be on the market in the first place. That bothers me.

3. I freak out more easily and more often now

I have two wedding books-- compliments of my mother-- that I am reading right now and coming to grips with the massive task ahead puts me more than a little on edge. One book said (paraphrasing here): "this is the most elaborate, biggest ritual/gathering you will ever host" which, when I think of it that way, is pretty overwhelming. I think my stress level is a notch higher on average than it was two months ago and I expect it will stay that way for the next year or so. But Ben's been a big help in keeping that stress level only one notch higher, rather than 4 or 5!

4. It's not "me and my boyfriend" anymore, it's "We"

Being a united front is key. It took me maybe 30 minutes to figure that one out. It's not something "I" was thinking about, it's something "We" were considering. I think the reason people go through engagements is to practice for raising kids. This is the precursor to the whole parenting technique of agreeing with your partner's decision whether or not you agree with them and then debating it later in private.